Best Funny Tumblr Posts We Came Across This Week

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andcallmeshirley
Oct 16, 2020 3:38 AM EDT

Oh, Tumblr. Our guilty pleasure website. We like to make fun of it, but the truth is we can't stay away for long! If you feel the same then take a look at these funny Tumblr tidbits from the past week, or try out another compilation of noteworthy Tumblr posts, just to make sure that you didn't miss out on any shenanigans.

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  • 01
    Text - claup777 I admire people who do exercise with no music like you are putting your body in pain while being alone with your thoughts... that's double torture one-for-all-plus-ultra jaboukie young-white @jaboukie anyone at the gym with no headphones is training to avenge someone's death 7/3/18, 11:03 AM
    via Reddit
  • 02
    Facial expression - Dinner is on me! Yes! Nothing is better than free food! horizonindigo: #CollegeStudents fred you live in a mansion Source: dark-sexy-metal
    via Reddit
  • 03
    Text - spazzeon How come "nice guys" say M'lady but wear fedoras? If you're saying M'lady you should be wearing tights and a neck ruffle. If you're wearing a fedora you should be saying like... see here and dame. Classy fedora dudes never said M'lady. Wtf. And why do they always have katanas? There's like 5 different time periods in this horrible trope. rabbureblogs This entire post makes me laugh arcana-corvus M'anachronism
    via Reddit
  • 04
    Text - catsi.tumblr.com a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her, for some frking reason "damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp" and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently > D B ♡
    via Reddit
  • 05
    Photo caption - mens-rights-activia E koobaxion Follow ... anatomicdeadspace Dutch resistance members celebrate at the moment they heard of Adolf Hitler's death over the radio, May 1945. (Colorized) latining Follow Blessed image. 53,098 notes
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Text - lesbwian Follow "we're ruining the planet" i'm sorry who is this we i don't recall myself running a billion dollar oil business hardleywhelmed Follow Sometimes I use the keurig and I feel bad but then I remember Just 100 companies responsible for 71% of global emissions
    via Reddit
  • 07
    Text - xtraterrestrials my personal curse is the knowledge that I function best with rigid structure and strict routine but am almost totally incapable of independently establishing or maintaining that structure and routine curlyfrywho Don't forget this special feature: at the same time hating when people tell you what to do #me 61,754 notes
    via Reddit
  • 08
    Text - wizened-beanie-baby Follow "everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted. papafargo Follow Okay, this was lovely and I love this and this absolutely counts. Source: wizened-beanie-baby
    via Reddit
  • 09
    Text - OES badjokesbyjeff BY JET Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Grace." The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Emin
    via Reddit
  • 10
    Text - biggest-gaudiest-patronuses imagine you're a middle-aged mom & you let your teenager invite some friends over & you bring them like, lemonade & cookies and crap, and 10 years later u find out one of those kids joined a band & wrote a top 100 song about how you were his puberty-fueled teenage sex dream and u have to spend the early 2000s listening to it play on overhead speakers every time u visit the mall all bc you tried to let your teenage daughter Stacy have a social life 2,037 notes
    via Reddit
  • 11
    Text - avocado--toast Follow I think the most Gemini thing my dad has ever done is one year he threw himself a reverse surprise party for the sheer drama of it. What is a reverse surprise party? you may ask, well let me tell you. So he invites over all his friends and family and then in the middle of dinner he stands up and announces that it's not a regular dinner, it is in fact, his birthday dinner (his exact words were "Surprise! .... iť's my Birthday") cue everyone looking panicked, because o
    via Reddit
  • 12
    Text - HORRORBEEST @flashember i begin typing on an old typewriter, "a werewolf is steering a submarine" but then stop. i crunch up the and throw it in the fire. the world isn't ready yet paper for Captain Harry McHowls, the submarine pilot who is secretly a werewolf hiding from the moon 12:47 PM Oct 13, 2019 Twitter for Android spiderine yes it is headspace-hotel The world would be so much better if people would just unironically write stuff like this. I'm tired of books that Take Themselves Se
    via Reddit
  • 13
    Text - tikkunolamorgtfo Follow THE SLATEST Wouldn't It Be Nice to Get Knocked Out Cold With a Shovel for Exactly Six Weeks and Five Days? By BEN MATHIS-LILLEY SEPT 17, 2020 · 12:12 This is a headline on an actual news website. O prussiamanj-deactivated20140713 Is Ben okay?
    via Reddit
  • 14
    Facial expression - Andre texted me and said Robbie got hurt Why are you here? so, T brought a watermelon. Why? Robbie loves watermelons. iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath: Beck was a real friend
    via Reddit
  • 15
    Text - hourlymemes Follow Student confidently submits worst essay professor has ever graded bri-ecrit Follow Students, you have NO IDEA how high that bar is. robotickal Follow OP #i had a student who plagiarized from a yaoi hentai site #there's no going back from that one k dude, there's sure not
    via Reddit
  • 16
    Text - megamongoose Two hundred and fifty years from now, someone will have this hanging up in their rich ass gallery collection and be like "Ah yes, an artist's depiction of a lone runner in a field of sand with a foreboding mountain range in the distance" because nobody will remember the context and all of us dead millennial ghosts will be snickering in the afterlife.
    via Reddit
  • 17
    Text - maxofs2d Follow you ever think about how "mountain dew" is a really poetic name and how, if someone didn't know what it was, they'd probably guess "some herbal tea made from the finest leaves of the Alps". but instead, it's just, radioactive gamer soda 88,268 notes
    via Reddit
  • 18
    Text - leftboob-enthusiast (to the tune of The Final Countdown) it's a mental breakdown thesilencedmasses *off-key kazoo* agoodkind After vine died we are reduced to text form vines
    via Reddit
  • 19
    Text - Rosie Knightmare Before Christmas 4h Fellas, is it gay to be male pirates who get married and share loot from our voyages? sometimes ror 1600s Marriage between male pirates is common. It was called matelotage, after the French word for sailor, matelot. Matelot partners shared their loot from their voyages and ships even paid a deceased sailor's portion to their surviving partner. The word is also where the term 'matey' originated! howmuchismuch Follow oh my god they were loot mates 123,69
    via Reddit
  • 20
    Text - hamletbaby i've had an awful morning but my lyft driver is named thor shakescene lyR LYFT now Lyft Thor is here - look for a silver shakescene he got lost on my campus and it took him a bit to find me so this car pulls up and rolls down the window and i'm greeted with this bearded dude who asks: "lucy????" and i had the genuine joy of replying "thor???" 52,327 notes ifunny.co A
    via Reddit
  • 21
    Green - teamrocketing Follow my university has these toilets and they're honestly ridiculous "what is your gender?" "Top hats" fabrickind Follow *walks up to these toilets in a bowler hat and red lipstick* *panics* canned-chaos both of these toilets are for liza minnelli and no one else TOILET TOTLET
    via Reddit
  • 22
    Text - postwafflecrispcereal People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as "adults". When do you think they stop... and realize... they are adults natawhat I'm not an adult, I'm a child with a drinking permit. nightterrorbeauty drinking permit freelancervermont "What's that in your sippy cup?" "Vodka."
    via Reddit
  • 23
    Text - pissvortex america has a functioning democracy where one party tries to kill you and the only other party just campaigns around the fact that they aren't the party that tries to kill you fuzzynecromancer That was a staggeringly concise and bleakly accurate assessment of US politics, pissvortex.
    via Reddit
  • 24
    Text - araitsume: ace-enjolras: I don't think writers realize that "strong female character" means "well written female character" and not just "female character who punches stuff and shoots stuff" #l don't think half the people on tumblr know the difference either
    via Reddit
  • 25
    Text - pikaole Follow pikaole I sow a super cute snail todoy! the bood d onpy nen I SOw a super cute snoil todoy! 5 yeovs old 15 yeors old Now pikaole
    via Reddit
  • 26
    Text - princesstigerbelle If cats knew what sin was they wouldn't even care imlizy I don't care either fuk trigonometry
    via Reddit
  • 27
    Text - witchesversuspatriarchy Follow A Small Fiction ASF @ASmallFiction "I'm lonely," she said, "do you have a potion for making friends?" "Sure. Drink this," the witch said. "Tea?" "Yep. What's on your mind?" A friendship was made that day
    via Reddit
  • 28
    Text - vampireapologist My kink is cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing gallusrostromegalus Use a cheese grater for tomatoes. simonalkenmayer You'll burn in hell for this.
    via Reddit
  • 29
    Text - royalninja i feel this may be the year to bring back the skeleton war. its been too long since ive seen a good quality skeleton war meme. royalninja stilljustpj skeletons don't have respiratory systems so they can't be affected by covid After years of uneasy peace the skeletons can finally unite to fight a common enemy: The Plague Source: royalninja
    via Reddit
  • 30
    Text - writing-prompt-s In the afterlife, souls can see how many living people still know you once existed. You, who had lived a fairly normal life, finally saw the count drop to 0 just 200 years after your death. 500 years later, 95% of the Earth's total population suddenly knows about you. anotherhawk And they all know I sold really, really S. y copper. nehirose I laughed UNREASONABLY hard over this. 12,489 notes
    via Reddit
  • 31
    Text - serkret: god i hope my history teacher doesnt get extremely offended by this we have to adapt a story to be about something weve been studying and read it to the class my group is doing the very hungry hitler OH MY GOD so hitler took poland but he was still hungry PLEASE POST YOUR FINAL PRESENTATION
    via Reddit
  • 32
    Text - ape babies: hey whats up I can climb around and do whatever the i want basically from birth human baby: uhhhhhhhhhhh guess ill be a dumb immobile little slug for f. like a year hank0331 Follow Human babies are born at the last possible moment before their craniums can't pass through the birth canal. We're basically all born premature because of our big brains. nightsarmament Follow big brained babies too stupid to do sick flips from tree branches
    via Reddit
  • 33
    Dog - rifa: therandominmyhead: A wild MACHAMP appeared! Go! DUGTRIO! I tried to scroll past this but its too damn clever It has to be awkward being buried so close like that.
    via Reddit
  • 34
    Face - fluent-in-lesbianism Follow While feeding my fish I made a comment to my mom how one is getting a lil chubby and she suggested that maybe the fish was pregnant, but I had to break the news to her that both fish in the tank were boys and she goes "well maybe they're gay, Natalie, did you think about that?" and I swear her tone was so perfectly condescending and KnowingTM that for a split second I actually felt bad for judging my fish's relationship before I was like
    via Reddit
  • 35
    Text - Waiter: How did you find your meal, sir? Me: Yeah, it was nice. Waiter: That's not what I meant and you know it. Me: Another waiter told me where you hid it. towritelesbiansonherarms this cracked me up more than i think it should have
    via Reddit
  • 36
    Text - indigostohelit so today i learned that in the late 1800s-early 1900s, the navy became concerned about possible homosexual activity among their sailors so they sent in decoys, whose job was to pretend to want to engage in homosexual activity in order to find gay sailors except then the job of the decoy got popular like, really popular like.. worryingly popular? reports said that the decoys were performing their jobs with "much enthusiasm and zeal" eventually the navy decided. to. just stop
    via Reddit
  • 37
    Text - cherenigans: do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it
    via Reddit
  • 38
    Product - mapsontheweb Follow ARROWHEAD PURE CD eALITY Poland 200NOUNTAIN ICE MOUNTA SPRING WATER 100% NATURAL SRING WATER Ozarka DEER PARK RA SNG Regional names for nestle water in the US gemfag Follow I hate capitalism
    via Reddit
  • 39
    Text - leviathan-supersystem has there been a scene in a corny action movie where someone in court is like "i plead... the second" and then pulls out a gun and wastes the judge lesbiskammerat for some reason the right to bear arms didn't occur to me right away, so for a bit and i was wondering if the US somehow had an amendment i'd never heard of that just gave you the right to kill a judge
    via Reddit
  • 40
    Text - RE tilthat TIL that when a British captive officer challenged french Navy officer Surcouf with the words "You French fight for money while we fight for honour", Surcouf replied "Each of us fights for what he lacks most". via reddit.com choptail i cant believe surcouf killed the entire british navy like that
    via Reddit
  • 41
    Text - woodfae wait. if you have social anxiety. and i have social anxiety.. then who's going to order the food? alohdark The third friend who has the Mom Friend anxiety override. Source: flowerfae 378,026 notes L
    via Reddit
  • 42
    Skin - generalgrievousdatingsim am a big fan of the relationship dynamic that is "scary powerful lady falls in love with total himbo because he's too dumb to be intimidated by her but drinks enough respect women juice on the regular to be very impressed by and genuinely supportive of everything she does" ladyshinga
    via Reddit
  • 43
    Head - What can I say, my brain's a sponge, and it thirsts forknowledge. It's actually not, O'm so stupid. Tom Holland being a relatable idiot. its-a-pretty-interesting-wall Me @ 8:45 walking into a lecture vs me @ 9 when the lecture actually starts
    via Reddit
  • 44
    Text - indigo-adult Follow my bio prof: which parasite caused the potato famine? the tiny desperate tired voice in my head: don't say the english, it's correct, but don't say it esoanem Follow This is a common misconception! As the English usually kill their host, we're actually parasitoids not true parasites! liturgicelly Follow now this is a correction i'll stand for 222,120 notes
    via Reddit
  • 45
    Text - baeddel I take immense psychic damage from the united states election cycle like-i-need-a-hole-in-my-head It's designed that way. baeddel im not even from your country!!! anarcblr it's designed that way. Source:baeddel 56,019 notes ...
    via Reddit
  • 46
    Text - prokopetz Honestly, if you see an angel that's all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it's going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you're seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility. domina-honoribila I woke up today with the phrase "spooky scary seraphim" in my head today, looks li
    via Reddit
  • 47
    Text - straightboyfriend i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i've started leaving a cup of water that's "mine" (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated . aofvoid God in the Garden of Eden abraxaswithaxes Absolutely obsessed with the implications of this comment
    via Reddit
  • 48
    Text - showerthoughts-lol In the Harry Potter universe, where paintings and images can interact with those looking at them, "waifu pillows" are probably a lot more interesting. Source: reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts biggest-gaudiest-patronuses I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST CASUALLY POSTED THIS LIKE IT WAS AN OKAY THING TO DO Source: showertho... 3,898 notes > D E O
    via Reddit
  • 49
    Text - BUSMH tanticiondes.e UOCA LE ads yas ntuion tartcten Demon's Soed Chapter 1, a dark souls farfe Faficion thetocheret eee ps bely nd Auat Dak Souls FanFicton Archive| FanFidion wfaftesenDas de Dark Souls (Video Games) - Works |Anve of Out D Pang P Wrng g4Latest Upcates Tage Dat foun &oodbome en Prter Da Sos Dar memeufacturing someone please help i dragged this picture of an old man but my computer froze and now he's stuck there no matter what webpage i go to and i feel like his ghost is ju
    via Reddit
  • 50
    Text - raptorific discord server for silent video game protagonists raptorific chell, doomguy, link, samus, and master chief are all in the server and not one of them has ever sent a message in it. they all consider the others to be their closest friends raptorific there's a channel where Red sends pictures of all of his pokemon and they all get a Thumbs Up emoji react from everyone else 34,626 notes A
    via Reddit

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